F. cleaning up my room.
R. writing out my lesson plan for the past three weeks (in other words, making a procrastination right).
M. practicing piano instead of putting it off.
Now to actually get working towards scholarly pursuits.
A friend asked me tonight what I'm doing for college. Ah, I wish I could say. I wish I could say, actually, that I'm not afraid of utter failure; that I'm not afraid of success because failure must surely be down the road. Is this my obstacle now, I wonder: fear?
Regardless. I am moving forward; I am taking small steps. So maybe I'll fail. I won't compromise, though. Maybe I'll be rejected time and again; I won't stop, though. I watched a movie last week called One Week, and it taught me things.
Ben, the main character, wrote a book. He tried to get it published but it was rejected multiple times. Ben gives up just around the time Houghton Mifflin hires a new man who's looking for exactly the type of book Ben wrote...if only he hadn't quit. If only he had tried once more.
So maybe I've failed; maybe I've put it off for too long, long enough that cramming won't get me anywhere. I'm going to try, though. I'm going to give it all I have. I'm going to stop the music that has engulfed me; this music of complacency and soft convictions; I'm going to pump up the drums and bass and march toward tomorrow. Then I'm going to turn it louder and keep marching, until the day after tomorrow; and the day after that; and the day after that.
Jesus. I'm here. Thanks for waiting for me.
Father meet me with Your arms wide open
The world's done broken Your prodigal son
Down this road I traveled
Everything raveled only came undone
Father lead me down to the river
Wash me in the water till I'm whiter than snow
I know I'm not worthy
But tell me there's mercy for the wandering soul
I lost my way but now I'm on my knees
If it's not too late won't You tell me please
You gotta place for me
A little grace for me
Father meet me in Your cool green valley
In all of Your glory when my days are done
Name me as one of Your chosen
Heaven's unbroken prodigal son
Father meet me with Your arms wide open
Lead me down to the river
Meet me in the cool green valley
Name me as one of Your chosen
Heaven's unbroken prodigal son.
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