Exceptional. or not.

Now I must choose. Tumblr or Blogger? Originally I started my Tumblr to vent on those confusion emotions concerning a man or just things I didn't want anyone to really know. Just to have them out there...then I started following people, and they started following back, and the whole point of "no one reading this" was lost. Now I don't know what to do with that other than just look at the pretty pictures, because all my thoughts fouf away as soon as I hit the dashboard.

Here however, it's still quiet, and I like it like that.

My laptop has 30 minutes left on its battery, and it's time to go to sleep, anyway. I don't know why I stayed up past midnight. What do I know, anyway. I know for a second, and then half an hour or so later, it's all gone, replaced by images of high heels, Dior, balloons, Jason Statham. Stratham. I can never remember his last name. The guy from Transporter who's been on tv all day.

Three days until two deadlines and I am so behind it's not funny. I sing this song a lot but I can't get it out of my system. It's my earworm, my cross, my fatal flaw.

Anyway. "My Love" by The Bird and the Bee is my happy song right now. That, I know. I know also another reason Tumble is losing its status as my go-to venting spot: I'm done with the whole thing that took my about two years to get over. About time, says I. I wasted a lot of energy on stupidity, but then, I couldn't help it. That's what makes it worse.

Now, this fatal flaw - this I can help. I think I can, anyway. Sometimes; like now. Tomorrow I'll probably be dying of either apathy or desperation and helplessness. Also Valentine's Day is coming up and I have never wanted to be with someone on that date. This year is no different because no one is good enough for me.

That's what I believe. Maybe not "good enough," but "on my patience level." It seems dumb, but I am afraid of losing patience gradually until I am ready to kick my significant other. Ha. I have a sneaking suspicion that I shall be forever alone. And, you know, I'm kind of becoming okay with that. Whatever will come.

I don't even know what I want, for real. A friend posted some things that would capture her heart.. for me it would be these:

1) Please. Don't care too much about sports. Or better yet, let's not have cable at all.

I will continue later. My battery is at 7% and my energy level is lower, and I feel that late-night loopiness coming on.

Good night, non-existent readers. I'm glad you haven't been replaced by people with faces and names. (The Fish is always the exception.)