Before Birthday Thoughts

>grins<

I'm amazed *some people* still want to eat eggs after my comparison yesterday. First with the forks, now with the eggs.

My birthday is tomorrow. Tomorrow!

I have a strange, misunderstood theory about my birthday; one that only my dear old pater understands (to a degree). I'm not going to go into it--well, maybe someday--because it's too long and complicated, so complicated that I'm still figuring it out.

But that's okay. I have an eternity to think about it.

My parents are taking me to breakfast, and then I'm spending the day doing my favorite things.

"What are your favorite things, Eldest?" You may ask.

"There are plenty," I answer, gleefully rubbing my hands together. "For starters, I'm going to listen to my all-time favorite songs (And So It Goes, the Main Theme from Band of Brothers, Waiting on an Angel, Rain, and so on and so forth).

"After that, I will throw on my favorite scarf and hat and go outside and sit on my favorite log in my favorite woods.

"THEN, I am going to drink my favorite tea (Organic Darjeeling) from my favorite brand (Tazo) out of my favorite cup (Dear God, etc. etc.)."

"But Eldest," you may shake your head in incredulity, "is half a day sufficient for that huge amount of favorites?"

"That's not all!" I laugh, patting you kindly on your head. "I also intend to add a little more to my favorite story that I am working. I may also doodle a little in my favorite sketch book.

"I plan to read my favorite book of the Bible and a little from my other favorite books (Dear Enemy, Left Behind).

"And THEN, when it seems this day of fun and favorites can not be filled up any more, I will log onto Fanfiction, Deviantart, and Blogger--in that order--and fiddle around for a few minutes, reminiscing and replaying the years of my life, happy to be alive."

I wait a few minutes, then grow concerned when you don't answer. I turn around and find that you have gotten bored minutes ago and are now sitting in front of the television screen, laughing at Monk.

>shrugs<

Believe it or not, that's what I'd love to do.

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Is disillusionment depression?

I didn't think so, not at first. But after thinking about it some more (although I'm not done thinking about it fully), I have decided that it is a form of depression. But not really, if that makes sense.

What is disillusionment? What is depression?

Webster's dictionary describes depression as:

A sinking of the spirits; dejection; a state of sadness; want of courage or animation; as depression of the mind.

A good answer from Yahoo Answers says that disillusionment is a shattering of illusions.

So, if a theoretical young lady used to have high expectations of birthdays and the changing of ages, and they were gradually shattered over the changing of ages, then that would be disillusionment.

Would it produce a state of sadness? In theory, it could.

Dejection? Possibly.

A state of sadness? Sure.

Want of courage or animation? I'm not sure about t

hat one. It could, but something like birthday expectations isn't that likely to take away one's courage. Animation, it could take away. Who wants to act on a birthday that doesn't matter as much as it used to?

Or, so I've heard.

>.>

<.<

So, based on the theoretical situation and the possible answers, I say that yes, disillusionment is a sort of depression, if you consider occasional bouts of sadness depression. But who doesn't have them? Would we be human if we were constantly happy? (Maybe if we had those coffee patches from Meet the Robinsons.)

And, in my experience (limited as it may be), I have seen that the world is often throwing rocks that shatter our expectations. They are, after all, built of trust and pixie dust--dainty stuff. Fragile stuff.

But disillusionment is important, I think. An important part of growing up, growing older. Illusions are a part of growing older, too.

After all, a little faith, trust, and pixie dust take us beyond up.

It takes us past the stars...