Hear my Heart

So I have about two minutes before we head out, and I really hate writing when someone's watching...in fact, I hate doing anything when someone's watching.

I love my Baptist music. It's perfect, especially when the world is just spinning off its axis and the dreams you had the night before sort of haunt your thoughts. Aughthguehree! I can't think of anything to write. Tonight is youth group, I had the best sleep of my life last night, school was tough, it's a little depressing outside (even with my love of rain), and we are preforming a skit tonight that we haven't even practiced.

I love the concept of "living for today," but there are some things that you have to do ahead of time.

Oh. And apparently I unknowingly "piss off" my brother.

So maybe my blog title isn't as accurate as I'd like to be. There's a whole lot that's on the tip of my tongue, and there's only a little of Hallelujah.

And that Hallelujah is a confused one, what with my dissatisfaction with some doctrines of my current denomination and an increasing longing for Bible stories. I really miss them.

It just seems like the older I get, the less they focus on the actual Bible--besides devotions--and focus more on do this and that and Holy Ghost and worship and life and love and purity and all that is well and good, but there's just something so filling about the stories of the Bible: Daniel and David and Moses and Abraham and Jesus--so much stories!--and the end of times and Jeremiah and Caleb and Jonathan and, and, and--I miss them. I really do.

Just reading them yourself, it's not the same.
Hearing them--now that's another "story."

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

--e e cummings